Furthermore…and hitting the iron

by Liz N on June 11, 2012

Kate wrote in the comments of my last post, “About Me” that I started well and then it all seemed to peter out – equating vanilla icecream with who I really am? Lame-ass.

That chick is a girl who’s right on the money. I was afraid. Afraid that I could have been staring at my computer screen for hours on end, hesitant to make contact with the keyboard for fear of what I would write.

Internally, right here, right now, I’m feeling rather angry. And blogging when angry is dangerous. I’ve been there before – and the results were, er, explosive. Looking back, not my proudest moment. I’m not one to easily forgive or forget. My bad. What I have learned however, is that hanging onto resentment is self destructive and counter intuitive. How to let go of past wrongs…I’m not sure – it seems to be definitely a conscious decision to fill your mind with the good stuff and gratitude for what you have in the now, what you’ll have in the future and gratitude that you had the wisdom to leave some things and some people behind.

Right now I’m angry at myself because I’m messy and that I am a champion procrastinator. I didn’t want to mention the procrastination part in my last post – though I have joked about the fact on this blog that at one stage I owned five books relating to procrastination and organization and never opened them.

Beating myself up about this isn’t the solution. Guiding myself clear seems like a more feasible alternative. It’s the same with our weight, our dress sense, our training – we spend so much time beating ourselves up about how we’re not good enough, yet it’s never ever enough to create long lasting success in this area. Looking at my weight loss journey, it was when I stopped being so self critical that I was able to create the magic – so therein lies the lesson.

This week, I’m planning on hitting the iron just that bit harder. I’ve knocked together a rough plan for the rest of the week – two heavy strength/power type sessions and one session that is more endurance based – just to mix it up. There has been a distinct lack of goals on the fitness front lately and the global goal is to be fit, healthy and moving like a twenty year old – and restoring my muscle mass to my glory days and beyond. Whilst I’ve never been one for numbers, I think that this time around I’m going to book in for DEXA scan to really evaluate how much muscle I can gain in say the next six months. In other words, to have a start and a finish goal. I’m through with thrashing my body for kilometres on end running and right now it’s too cold for me out on my bike to enjoy it without buying more gear. Come summer though, I want to be heading out on that road every weekend.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Deborah June 11, 2012 at 8:31 am

I must confess Liz, it’s nice to hear that someone even as fit and lean as you has goal-setting issues when it comes to fitness, healthiness etc… But, we all want to improve on our lives in some way I guess – which is why we keep putting one foot in front of the other, day after day!

I’m a bit of a procrastinator, but it’s balanced out by the fact that I’m all about instant gratification, which results in the occasional manic behaviour. Although, in some ways procrastination works for me because I work better under pressure and sometimes need that to focus and get the job done. Maybe it’s a bit similar for you?

Deb

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Kate June 11, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Liz, this post hit harder. Felt the punch this time. And I agree – holding on to anger will only ever destroy the inner Liz; the very one you will release unto the world. I think you have more courage that most people. It is a hard, hard thing to face the nasty image we sometimes see in the mirror and then think of wanting to work on it. But you do do that. *high five, Sis*!

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Liz N June 12, 2012 at 10:32 am

Thanks Kate!

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Char June 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Beating up on ourselves is never the solution. So why is it the first thing that I do when I don’t hit some imaginary line in the sand that I’ve drawn? Here I am – almost 50 – and I still haven’t learnt any new techniques to motivate myself.

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Liz N June 12, 2012 at 10:32 am

Sounds like it really is ingrained into our human natures – guess the secret is learning to be more mindful perhaps.

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Emma June 12, 2012 at 2:29 am

Don’t know how to express how right on this blog is for me at the moment.
1. Holding onto a massive past grudge – tick
2. Being immensely self-critical – tick
3. Needing to be more positive on both of the above – tick
Thanks for showing me that you are a gorgeous, fit, healthy mean machine that has bad days too xx

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Liz N June 12, 2012 at 10:31 am

You’re welcome – we’re all in it together x

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Caralyn June 12, 2012 at 4:11 am

Why is procrastination a bad thing? I love it. I do it. I don’t feel guilty about it.

It helps me put off the stuff that probably isn’t really important and then gives me a rush when I madly do the things in the last moments. Much more fun :)

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Liz N June 12, 2012 at 10:30 am

Hey Caralyn, I’ve had too many of those getting things done by the skin of my teeth moments. Perhaps I just want to stop drinking Mylanta lol

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Seana Smith June 16, 2012 at 6:25 am

Hi there, funnily enough I couldn’t see you as a procrastinator at all, you seem so very active and busy and getting after it. Love the message that it’s letting go of the self- criticism that freed you to lose weight.

I try to do the thing I don’t want to do FRIST… get it over and done with and then get on with the day. Sometimes works!!

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Liz N June 18, 2012 at 6:46 am

I think that is a brilliant idea :)

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