The real me

by Liz N on June 10, 2012

 

Today, inspired by Kek, I’m joining up with Edenland  in her “Fresh Horses Brigade” and tackling this topic.

Initially, when asked to write about “the real me”‘, I feel rather self indulgent, because I’ve grown up in the shadow of, “it’s never a good idea to talk about yourself”.

I’m number 55 on Eden’s list and although I haven’t read any of the other blogs (except Kek) that have linked up, I believe that we’d be all quite different, yet spookily similar about who we really are.  I would bet my bottom dollar that when I read everyone’s blogs, there will be some strikingly similar themes, such as shaky self confidence, the need for love and approval etc etc.

I’ve never written in the sense of “the real me” on this blog and this is mostly driven by fear.  If I had no holds barred, what would I really write?  What would people think of me?  What would be the outcome?  The thought terrifies me because this blog shows just the tip of the iceberg of who I really am.

I’m a raging introvert – I’ll be the one to want to leave a party before the first round of canapes are served.  I’m glad I’m allergic to alcohol because when I was younger, I yearned to be able to  drink myself into a stupor to show the world that I was having a good time and that under the influence I could get out of my own way if I wanted to.  These days, I try and get out of my own way by helping other people and attempting to do yoga.

I’ve always been a bit of an all rounder – dabbling in both science and the arts and by my own admission, I’m a little chameleon like in that I will appear to others in the sense of how they want to see me – which is usually as a source of factual information, rather than a fertile mind.   You may think I’m cycling up a hill, but in my mind,  “I’ve thrown  down my enemy and smote her ruin upon the mountainside”, to paraphrase Tolkein.

No matter what the event, I’m always focusing on the possibilities.  I’m always looking for the hidden meaning.

Whilst I love the facts, I want to know what you think about them.   I love people and want to know your story and understand what makes you tick.   I resonate more with those who struggle than those who are highly successful by our worldly standards.  I would bet anything, no post I read today will go along the lines of, “I was the most popular kid at school…”

I’m fiercely idealistic and highly opinionated and if I think the cause is worth fighting for, not afraid to voice my thoughts, even if they’re not the popular consensus.   And I’d rather stand up for what I believe in than follow the crowd on the stuff that really matters.

I’m quietly rebellious.  When somebody tells me, “you should do this,”  I smile and nod my head, but on the inside, my Inner Monkey is flinging poo at them and mouthing the words, “make me”.

I marvel at how sure and unsure of myself I can be at the same time.

I’m a parent and wife – yet, I haven’t found motherhood easy – not by a long shot. There are times when I wish I could just pack my bags and disappear.    I’m not the doting soccer Mum,  doing Art and Craft at the school was a complete disaster and making Easter Bunny Hats is like putting bamboo under my fingernails.   Yet it’s not all bad.  Convincing a class of Year Seven boys to do the limbo is more up my alley as is taking the girls for a bike ride and whipping up a mean set of pancakes.

I gain immense satisfaction from helping others.  I love watching people change and embrace physical activity in their life.

I’m terrible at crafty things and way too messy around the house.  Vanilla ice cream is my favourite.  Followed by a decent curry.   I’m not particularly stylish.  I love good sci-fi.   I also cane for a gripping drama.    A library full of books, a warm fireplace and a dog at my feet is an idea of heaven.   So too is an early morning swim at the beach followed by breakfast and the paper.

I’m an animal person.  I love all creatures great and small – except for mice – those I could do without.

I tried, but don’t think I scratched the surface – and that’s OK.

Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade

 

 

 

 

 

 

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Kari @ bite-sized thoughts June 10, 2012 at 9:49 am

Even if you just scratched the surface, this was a lovely post to read – I think many bloggers hold things back but the extra glimpses here were lovely and it’s nice to know that little more about your personality and tastes. I am with you completely on the introverted aspect and am always so glad to hear of like-minded people because sometimes it seems like everyone is sociable and extroverted except me!

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Liz N June 11, 2012 at 8:02 am

Thanks Kari, introverts rule :)

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Kate June 10, 2012 at 8:42 pm

You started off really well; I felt the inner strength of ‘Liz’ pushing to reach to the surface. And then, it sort of just fizzled out. ‘Liz’ wasn’t let out. You ended with a watered down version of what is “about” you. (Like I can talk?!)

I was sitting on the sidelines, cheering for ‘Liz’. I saw this amazingly potent and powerful force of authentic earthliness rise and I loved it. Find that strength to let ‘Liz’ shine, for sitting here, I can tell you that ‘Liz’ is sublime. She may not be the picture perfect version of what society deems to be plasticially ideal, but I’d take one ‘Liz’ over a billion manufactured images society blurts out.

My door is always open to the likes of the ‘Lizes’ of the world. You moved my heart in hope for mine to rise too.

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Liz N June 11, 2012 at 7:57 am

Thanks Kate. You got a mention in my next post. There’s definitely unfinished business there. It’s whether I have the courage to let it out xx

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KerryW June 11, 2012 at 12:30 am

I loved your post today Liz!
“A library full of books, a warm fireplace and a dog at my feet is an idea of heaven.” Me too! Me too! Though the fireplace will be a few years away, and next year we’re getting a labrador puppy for Miss Phil’s birthday, after much thought about what dog will suit her nature (and ours), and best provide a ‘little buddy’ for an only child. :)
Kerry XX

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Liz N June 11, 2012 at 7:56 am

A Lab, eh – be prepared for puppy mayhem and they shed hair like nobody’s business – however, they will love (and possibly lick) you to death!

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Kerryn Woods (@kerrynwoods) June 11, 2012 at 1:10 am

You done good, kid. :)

Go read some of the other posts if you have time; there are some rippers. And you’re right – we’re all so much more similar than we are different.

My inner monkey and yours should get together sometime and have a good old poo-flinging party. ;)

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Liz N June 11, 2012 at 7:55 am

Oh, yes and the monkeys should take tea at the same time.

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Vicki June 11, 2012 at 6:20 am

Liz, first of all big congrats on writing this post! After I read Kerryn’s then yours I wondered about who I am .. would I actually have anything to write in a post?! I wouldn’t know where to start and don’t know if I could write more than one sentence!
Needless to say, you both have me thinking, I may even have to start taking notes …
Very insightful .. thank you for making me think!
Vic x

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Liz N June 11, 2012 at 7:55 am

Thanks Vicki – don’t think I said it all that well actually :) But looking forward to getting to know you better!

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Marion June 11, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Liz, when you write these things, you are so likeable!

I honestly hate the arts and crafts stuff my kids have to do too. Such as the DNA strand made of wire and beads. Or the cell made of wire, beads and half a styrofoam ball. Or the Egyptian mummy. Or the log cabins and teepees. Little canoes. One year, I had to help kids with 4 science fair projects. Hour-wise, that was 6 full weekends in a row, from morning to night, of arts and crafts made into science projects. Never again!!!!!! This is why I HATE the idea of scrapbooking.

:-) Marion

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Liz N June 12, 2012 at 10:33 am

Oh Marion, I’m just a nasty scrapbooker! xx

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Emma June 12, 2012 at 2:40 am

I must admit I read the next blog before this one so it’s hard to comment in retrospect. I do admire the fact that you have put yourself out there by trying to describe yourself, even if, at the end as stated above, you delve more into the things you like rather than who you are.
I would like to say ‘Well done’ because you are constantly putting yourself out there on your blog and not just on one that is specifically about who you are. xx

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Liz N June 12, 2012 at 10:31 am

Thanks Em, hopefully see you tomorrow – I hope you took Monday as a rest day. :)

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Me June 12, 2012 at 10:53 am

Sitting here nodding my head at your post !!!
Raging introvery – tick
Bit of an all rounder – tick ( how can I be an accountant and a reflexologist/massage therapist is a question I am asked often !!!)
Love facts – tick (for me it is all about the numbers – can’t get much more factual that that !!!)
Quietly rebellious – tick
Parent and wife but haven’t found motherhood easy – double tick
Terrible at crafty things – tick
I so hear where you are coming from !!!
Have the best week possible.
Love, hugs and positive energy !
Me

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Liz N June 13, 2012 at 7:27 am

Thanks Me, it’s good to know I have a kindred spirit out there :)

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